Monday, June 08, 2015

Where Have All the Gentlemen Gone?

Gentlemen need not wear a suit or tie. They are ordinary folk like you and me.

"Chivalry is dead. Gentlemen are a rare breed."

I often read or hear these words nowadays. It is frustrating to hear such words from people who probably don't even know what the words "chivalry" and "gentleman" mean and where they originated.

In today's generation where feminists fight to be men's equal, opening doors for women or offering to bring their heavy bags are laughed upon. The men are promptly labelled "chauvinist pigs".

Today's view of what Gentlemen have changed from what they were back then. From "Men who give respect to the people around them" to "Guys who are there for the convenience of women."

And you wonder where the good guys are. Gentlemen have enough self-respect to know that they are not there as your plaything or your servant.

Today when men offer to go above and beyond their call of duty for their female colleagues or friends, it is seen as "flirting".

Again you wonder where the good guys are.

Well I'm pretty sure there are still a lot more out there. The thing is, the news is so full of players and heartbreakers and badboys to notice the little acts each of them do every day.

You'll have to look closer and more carefully to find where they are, because in today's society, beating up a woman is more newsworthy than a man giving up his seat for a woman.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

A Message to the Depressed

This is a transcript of Sky's Video. Everytime I listen to this video, it makes me remember how I was depressed before and it just brings me on the verge of tears. To everyone in the trenches, hold on. You got this.

We all desperately wanna be happy. And like Will Smith portrayed, happiness isn't guaranteed; we have to pursue it. And I'd like to live in a world where happiness is as easy as buying a soda in a vending machine but it's harder than that.

Unlike a math test, there's no right answer when it comes to depression. But I know what it feels like. And it's more than just not being happy. It's like you can't bring yourself to be happy. You look at the things that you want to really love and enjoy and you just can't find enjoyment in them anymore. Sometimes you can't eat, sometimes you can't sleep and sometimes you can't even move.

And then your friends get mad at you 'coz you don't go out as often or you don't want to respond to text messages you just can't hold a conversation and suddenly you're the problem, you're the downer. And you really want to, you REALLY want to. You REALLY WANT to. You really wanna go out to the bar, and you really want to go out and have fun but your body just doesn't allow you to. As if something inside you is just forcing you to be down like that's the normal thing to do and everybody else just doesn't get it.

And it's not that you ignore people because you dont like them, it's just you don't wanna go through the same conversation over and over again.

"Wanna go out?"
"No I'm not feeling that well."
"Why? What's wrong? What can I do to help?"

And that's the problem. You don't even know what you want. You don't even know what's gonna make you feel better. You just feel trapped. And then what doesn't help is the people trying to tell you how to feel or what to feel or giving you solutions that you know aren't gonna work. And they get frustrated because they want to help you but they can't.

And the words that made you feel this way, the words that make you hate the person that you are just get louder, and all within a matter of moments, it feels like you're drowning. And outside there's just so much light and everything is so bright and you just wish that somebody could just dim the lights please. You try to ask yourself what happened between now and then but sometimes there is no explanation.

You could have everything you want in the world and still feel like you have nothing. Depression is indiscriminate. It doesn't matter how much or how little you have in your life. It can find you. And now supposedly we lost Robin Williams. I don't know if it's accurate that he took his own life or that the cause was depression. But if it was, it just proves that one of the funniest men in the entire world could not defeat the monster that is depression. It's not a joke.

Look, the only reason I know how this feels is 'coz I've been there, I've lost a best friend to it and back then I was ignorant to the feeling. I tried to ask what he needed from me but he didn't know. and yeah I got frustrated because I couldn't help the person that I cared about. And then when I figured it out, it was too late.

But if I could go back and have one more conversation with him before he did it, this is what I would say:

I'm not a miracle worker and I can't promise you much. I can't make the words go away, I can't make you love yourself, I can't give you an appetite to eat and I can't just magically make you sleep. I can't turn back time and magically explain what happened between now and then.

I know that there's a lot of light outside and I can't dim the lights but I've got a room that we could hide in. Anything you need outside, I could bring it to you.

I can't turn down the volume and I know the outside world gets really loud but we can close the windows. What I can do is I could wait right here with you until you're ready. We can talk all day or I can just sit here and be silent.

I could be across the room, or I can be right next to you.

We could play Mario Party, or listen to music, you could use my face to practice your make-up or if you wanna hit something. Just not my face because you just did my make-up.

We can do whatever you want.

Just as long as you know that when we leave this room and re-enter the world, we're gonna do it together. And I'm not going anywhere.

I called off work, told my friends I couldn’t kick it, I brought some movies, my laptop, some video games. I’ve got entertainment or I can just sit here and talk to you. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing but throughout the duration of you feeling this way, I’m gonna be right here until you feel better.

And when you’re ready, you and I will re-enter the world together. Okay?

Just before you do anything, you let me know.

Source: Sky Williams (

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

The Mask by Kotjara

While I was lying in bed, I recalled a declamation that was given to us when I was still in elementary. I just want to share it here because I do think this is still relevant now as it was before. 

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying
Charles C. Finn

Please don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that is second nature to me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression I'm secure and that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name, coolness my game, that water is calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me, please don't believe me.