Why I Wait. (Proud Confessions)

(I dedicate this article to that person in the future, the one love, and the one I will be with for the rest of my lifetime. Wherever you are, whoever you are, I know someday, somehow, we will see each other when the time is right and when I’m a better person. Only God knows when that is. I will be patient.)

Another mush article? Most probably. But if you want to hear it from someone who has never had a girlfriend since birth (and I proudly confess that), it just might be a different kind of mush that you know.

Yes, i never had a girlfriend. Why? Well, I think I have two answers:

MY "OTHER" CONFESSION

Let’s just put it this way, I don't know how to court a girl. Ridiculous? I don’t know. Peculiar? Maybe. Usually, when I reply to this question using this answer, the inquirer would laugh out loud and think I’m a geek or something. I really don’t understand. Are guys even supposed to have that innate ability to court, or does that just pop in their heads? Where do they learn that anyway (by "they", I mean guys who "know" how)? is there anything wrong with not being able to court?

The thing is, I still don’t want to court anyone YET. I strongly believe that sooner or later, when the time has come, everything will just flow smoothly for me, and the person I love. I don’t have to do anything, or even try, because if she really was meant for me, then she will accept me for who I am, my lapses, my failures, and my disappointments.

And this leads me to my second answer.

WAITING?

One of my key personal principles is to be a gentleman to women/ladies/girls. it's not some act to get girls to like me, it's my way of respecting them. Opening doors, carrying books and other heavier stuff, or just sitting and chatting with someone who’s alone are my ways of telling them that I value them and that I care for them, as a friend (or as a big brother). Why should I treat them special? Because they are.

More than anything, women want respect, care, and they want to feel loved (I know this because I have two sisters I so dearly love). And there is no one else more able to break her heart, than the one she loves. I have seen so many broken hearts and shattered dreams that most of the time, I wonder if guys just courted them for fun, or something. My heart breaks for those broken hearts, and for the girls who have cried on my shoulders, or in front of me.

I suddenly realized that I am an incomplete gentleman if I didn’t know how to take care of a woman’s heart. This is the most essential part of the woman that guys take for granted: her heart. It is here that she stores what she wants to say the most, and sees the things she wants to happen in the future.

I then changed. I decided to become someone women will trust their hearts with, and take care of them, as I take care of their glass hearts.

In the same way, I decided to keep in myself the promise to take care of the heart of that person I love (I don’t know who she is yet), by just saving myself for her. That way, I’ll spare myself from unnecessary heartaches. I don’t want to get into a relationship that I will regret, and then flee from; I want my first girlfriend to see that I love her that much to wait for her all these years.

And I’m still waiting.

The reason why I wait is because I know I’m still not ready for a relationship (A “serious relationship” is just a relationship. There is no other kind of relationship other than that). I wait because I am still incomplete. I am still too far from who I should be.

And when I say that I’m waiting, I’m not saying that during this time, I’m doing nothing but gaze at the passing time. Waiting is not a passive activity, but rather the opposite. During my period of waiting, I find myself being developed into a more mature person, molded by God, to become who He wants me to be. My waiting becomes futile if I do not change myself, for in changing, I become the best for the person I love. As they say, “If you want to marry a queen, then, you should be, yourself, a king.” Instead of waiting for the right one, I become the right one.

And when the wait is done, when I have found the one God has destined to be with, for my whole lifetime, she will be my first, and my last. For I will bring her to the altar, and marry her. For what purpose was gf/bf made, than to bring two people together, and ultimately be together for life?

She would not need to ask me to show her how much I love her, for with just waiting, I show her that I do.

And when we are standing in front of the altar, when everyone is there to watch our matrimony, I will tell her this:

“You are my first, and my last. The one I have waited for my whole life. The one who God has prepared for me. The one who I was prepared for. The person who I did not know before, but have already loved. The sweetest wait that I have, and never will regret. I love you, just like this. You may not be the perfect girl, but I don’t need someone perfect. I’d rather have the right one than the perfect one. And I’m glad I waited.”

For now, may mga bagay na gusto kong mangyari but if minadali ko yun, things wouldn't be as beautiful as when I wait for the right time. The Lord is in control of my life and all that will come my way. I only have to trust Him and leave everything in His hands.